Gloria Shackett Christy, The Murfreesboro Post, July 27, 2013
It was July 13, 1862.
Gazing out the window of her parlor, Adeline Maney was appalled by the wounded, dead and dying strewn among the tall oaks of her expansive front lawn. Union Gen. William Duffield’s moans of agony fell upon her ears from the bedroom.
About 4:30 that morning the entire Maney family had been roused by shouts and the sound of gunfire. A bugle call and drum summoned the federal encampment to arms.
“Turn out! The rebels are coming!” had been the cry, as terror swept through the pre-dawn mist.
The tall oaks offered only sparse shelter as a hail of Confederate gunfire shredded the tents of sleeping soldiers. Within 45 minutes, the wave of horror had passed, leaving in its wake a massacre revealed now in bright splotches shining down through the leafy glade.
A mere two years prior to this morning, Adeline and her husband had moved into their new dream home, the stately mansion they called Oaklands.
Soon the imposing Italianate Romanesque arches were familiar to all the prominent citizens of the area, as Oaklands became the center of Southern hospitality, grace and charm.
All the crops that had recently adorned their 1,500 acres now lay in ruin. Corn, oats, hay and cotton all were utterly destroyed by the Federals’ commandeering.
Duffield’s men had been encamped since March 1862. Only a picket fence separated her family from the 1,400 troops garrisoned around Oaklands Manor.
These troops held the pervasive assessment that Southerners “are not worthy of the bread they eat, the clothes they wear, nor the air they breathe.”
At one point, when her daughter, Molly, was desperately ill with a fever, a handful of Union Soldiers strode upon the back porch demanding to search the house. Adeline, a frail but courageous figure, held them at bay on the back veranda with nothing more than a pistol and her sheer determination.
As she played her beloved piano, the question haunted her thoughts, “How would we ever put our lives together again?”
Her eyes fell on the family Bible, lying open in its place on the table across the room.
There Adeline found a familiar passage in the Book of Luke: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.”
Summoning faith’s fervent determination, she stood from the Bible, strode into the master bedroom to begin comforting and healing the perilously wounded commander of the defeated Federal troops, Gen. Duffield.
Although Duffield was an enemy, Adeline Maney labored devotedly to nurse him back to health.
Days later, she even invited Duffield’s wife to come from Detroit and live at Oaklands for a month while her husband recovered, resulting in a friendship that lasted long after the Civil War.
The Duffields sent the Maneys a silver service and other gifts to express their gratitude; and, on at least one occasion, the Maneys vacationed in Michigan at the Duffield’s home.
Their gratitude was expressed in this recorded correspondence.
“The kindness of yourself and family has sunk deep into my heart and will be gratefully remembered as long as I live whatever the section in which we live may be, whether friends or enemies, I shall always remember that at least one Northern soldier entertains the most sincere friendship for a Southern gentleman – Signed, Your sincere friend, Wm. W. Duffield.”
Adeline’s choice to forgive and move on is a lesson for us today. It is this same spirit – encouraging us to forgive and move on – that can and will heal us from our deepest hurts, and indeed restore us and empower us to be the kind of people that can play an active role in redeeming even the worst situations.
In the case of Adeline Maney, the gesture of kindness almost 150 years ago extended into a life-long friendship that crossed political, geographical and relational lines.
In today’s world, filled with hostility and revenge, a lesson of faith and forgiveness could be learned from her example.
However, it is a matter of choice.
We must choose to forgive and release our resentments. The choice is ours and the freedom will follow.